


Trust is Hard to Regain

by TallyHallFreak



Category: Shall We Date?: Obey Me!
Genre: A couple headcanons sprinkled here and there, Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Brotherly Bonding, Brotherly Love, Depression, Gen, Heavy Angst, Hurt/Comfort, I hope you like sad bois, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, Lots of Crying, Recovery, Relapsing, Suicidal Thoughts, Suicide Attempt
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-06-30
Updated: 2021-01-06
Packaged: 2021-03-04 00:21:31
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 6,507
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24994552
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TallyHallFreak/pseuds/TallyHallFreak
Summary: With MC back in the human world, Mammon finds it hard to take the mistreatment he receives from his brothers. He begins to close himself off from them and hasn’t been acting like himself at all. The brothers take notice and try to make amends.
Comments: 60
Kudos: 306





	1. Not-So-Subtle Changes

It started with the second eldest being absent from the dinner table. Most of the food had already been eaten at this point; Beelzebub could be thanked for that. Lucifer sighed and decided to voice the question on everyone's mind.

"Where is Mammon?"

Asmodeus shrugged.

"I've been wondering the same thing." Satan stated.

Judging by the looks they were all giving one another, it seemed none of them knew why their brother wasn't at dinner. He was usually one of the first to arrive for meals, refusing to lose his food to Beelzebub's void of a stomach.

"Well, someone better go get him." Lucifer stared his brothers down, watching them all squirm away and act like they hadn't heard.

Belphegor kept his eyes down at his fork as he nudged the food on his plate. He didn't lift his gaze as he spoke up nonchalantly.

"Why don't _you_ go get him, Satan? Since you're _so concerned_."

The agitated blonde demon whipped his head toward him to retort, but catching Lucifer's unrelenting cold stare, realized it was futile and huffed before placing his fork down and standing up.

He ambled up the stairs and strode down the hall toward his older brother's room. He was in no hurry. It's not like it was really that big of a deal. If Mammon decided to do something stupid that resulted in him missing dinner, it wasn't Satan's problem. 

Once in front of the second eldest's room, he gave a quick knock and said, "Dinner will be gone if you don't come down soon." 

There. He had done what had been asked of him and didn't need to involve himself further. Yet, as he pivoted to leave, he couldn't help but take notice of the unusual silence from inside the room. There was no audible indication of movement from within. Satan turned back toward the door. There was a sliver of light coming from underneath. Mammon was _definitely_ in there. Lucifer had a strict policy in place on turning the lights off when not in use.

Had Satan not been heard? Was Mammon asleep and forgot to turn the lights off? He decided to go in and check. Even though Satan could care less if his brother were to be lectured or punished for his idiocy, something felt off, and he was compelled to investigate.

He opened the door and was surprised to find Mammon lying there on his back, sprawled out on the couch. One arm draped across the headrest, the other resting atop his forehead. One leg propped up on the couch cushions, and the other dangling off the side. He definitely wasn't asleep. Satan could see his dejected expression as he stared up at the ceiling.

"Mammon..?"

Upon hearing his name, he snapped out of his stupor and looked up towards his brother in the doorway.

"Hm? What's up?"

Satan faltered for a moment, conflicted on whether to tell him to come for dinner like he originally intended or to address his brother's current state. He decided on the latter.

"Is something wrong?"

Mammon sat up fully. "Huh? What're ya talkin' about?" 

His tone was steady and he looked genuinely curious about what his little brother could _possibly_ be referring to.

Satan was almost offended. He raised a pointed finger. "I—" He stopped mid-thought. He was _beyond_ confused. 

Had he just been imagining the way Mammon had looked just a moment ago? No. He was _certain_ he had seen a _distinct sadness_ in his brother's distant gaze. So where did it go? With the way he was looking at him now—relaxed posture, head cocked to the side, staring at Satan as if _he_ was the one acting strange—if he didn't know better, Satan would have never even guessed that something was off.

"Uhh.. you okay there, Satan?"

Satan wanted to yell at his brother for daring to make him doubt himself like this. He clenched his hands into fists to stay in control. His claw-like nails dug into his palms and he shifted his focus to the sensation of it to drown out his rising temper. 

"Just come eat, you moron." He hissed before storming off downstairs.

Satan growled as he sat back down at the table. Fuming as he jabbed his fork into his poor unsuspecting food.

No one dared to ask what had happened, lest they would all suffer his Wrath. Mammon trailed behind and sat down a few seconds later anyway so they didn't question anything. 

•••••••

As the days went on, the brothers noticed more and more occurrences of Mammon not acting like himself. He didn't leave the house as much—he hardly even left his _room._ He stopped defending himself when anyone was mad at him. He usually didn't have a problem with invading his brothers' personal space, but now he would make a point not to touch them at all. He would even apologize when he would just accidentally brush up against any of them.

**[Asmodeus: Okay something is definitely wrong with Mammon.]**

****

**[Beelzebub: Yeah. He hasn't been eating as much lately :( ]**

****

**[Asmodeus: That's not what I'm talking about! This has nothing to do with food!]**

****

**[Satan: To be fair, Asmo... Beel's point is no less concerning, but please, continue with your anecdote.]**

****

**[Asmodeus: You're right. Anyway, yeah. So I was trying to be nice and decided to invite him to come shopping with me, and he said no. Not only that, but he decided to actually PAY ME BACK for all the times I'd lent him money!!]**

****

**[Leviathan: Yeah he actually paid me back recently too. I didn’t think it was weird at the time but now that you mention it, it is pretty unlike him to just do that out of nowhere.]**

****

**[Belphegor: Ugh. Somehow Mammon not being a scumbag for once is actually more annoying than he usually is...]**

****

**[Asmodeus: Have you noticed anything unusual about him, Satan?]**

****

**[Satan: I have actually...]**


	2. Accepting Truth

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This one is where it starts to get pretty dark. Please exercise caution while proceeding, especially if you are sensitive to the kind of content listed in the tags. If you feel uncomfortable at any point, you do not have to keep reading. If you need someone to talk to, don’t hesitate to reach out to someone you trust. Know that you are loved and appreciated and stay safe.

Mammon sighed heavily as he leaned back in frustration, lightly hitting the back of his head against the wall. In his hands was a strangled rope. It was wearing thin in various places where knots had been tied and untied. He looked down once again at the cord loosely held in his grasp. He chuckled bitterly, a hint of sadness residing within his eyes. He couldn't even do _this_ right. He took a deep breath to still himself and decided to give it a few more tries.

A knock at his door made Mammon jump. He quickly hid the rope under his couch just in time before Lucifer stepped inside. 

"L-Lucifer! Wh.. what's, uh.. is.... do ya need somethin'?"

Mammon could feel his body trembling as his older brother responded by simply staring at him in silence. The sound of his pounding heart wasn't helping to ease the tension he felt. Suddenly he remembered the money he set aside to give to him.

"O-oh! I have somethin' for ya! L-lemme just..." 

Lucifer's piercing glare did not waver as he watched Mammon flounder as he retrieved the money from a hidden compartment in his dresser and made his way toward him. 

"I know it's way overdue and I'm sorry that it's taken me this long to get around to it, but here," Mammon held out his hand clutching the thick stack of bills. He couldn't meet his brother eyes and his hand was shaking. "Thi-this is everything I owe ya."

Lucifer eyed the cash before looking back to Mammon with an even icier gaze. "I don't want your money."

Mammon looked up in shock. "What..?"

"I'm not like you. You can't pacify me with riches. Greed is _your_ sin."

"I-I didn’t mean—! I.. I'm sorry."

Mammon cursed himself internally. Of course even when he's trying to do the right thing he screws it up. The sooner he could rid his brothers of himself, the better. 

Lucifer continued, "I’m only here because Satan told me he needed you for something."

"Huh? Why wouldn't he just tell me himself?"

"Are you doubting my honesty?

"Ah, n-no sir. Sorry." Mammon bowed his head before hurrying out of his room and toward Satan's.

He had left the stack of grimm on the coffee table so Lucifer could take it if he wanted, but as he thought about it some more as he walked, he figured that was pretty stupid of him. What if he didn't take it and then someone stole it? He paused and turned around to head back, only to be stopped by his younger brother spotting him.

"Ah, there you are," Satan put a hand on his hip casually. "May I borrow you for a while?"

Mammon spun back around to face him. "Yeah. What do ya need?"

"Not much. I just need some help organizing a few books. Oh, you're not busy, are you?"

"No, no. I'm not doin' anything."

"Perfect. If you'll follow me then..." Satan turned around and led his older brother to the library.

Mammon stuffed his hands in his pockets in an attempt to hide his discomfort. This was strange. Satan would never ask for his help with anything. No one would, really...

He lifted his head up from staring at the floor once they arrived. There were books littered around the whole room. This was definitely more than a _few._

"Alright. If you want to get started over here, I'll be on the other side if you need me." Satan headed toward the far right corner of the room and left Mammon wondering if he could manage such a task. Sure, it was simple enough; just put the books on the shelf they belong, but with how things had been going lately, he just _knew_ he would find some way to mess it up. 

Satan turned around after getting through a few dozen books to check up on how his brother was doing, only to find that he hadn't even started. 

"Mammon..? Are you alright?"

Mammon looked up, then back down. 

"Yeah..." he started halfheartedly, "I just.. don’t know why ya asked _me_ for help..."

Satan placed the book he was holding onto the table. "What do you mean?"

"Well, you know," Mammon shrugged, "I'm not really good at anything. I always just mess things up."

Satan was at a loss for words, which was extremely unlike him. He struggled to come up with anything to say, and eventually settled for three simple words as he made his way toward his brother.

"That's not true..."

That made Mammon laugh, if that's what you could call the defeated sound he made.

"It's okay. No point in tryin' to deny it. It's the truth."

"No, it isn't!" Satan was starting to get emotional. "We're all worried about you, you know."

"...You are?"

"Yes!"

"Oh.. sorry..."

Satan wrestled with the urge to throw something to satiate his temper. "Don't apologize, you idiot! You're making it worse!"

_That's what I was trying to say. That's all I ever do..._ Mammon thought to himself.

Satan took a breath and let it out slowly, then continued a bit more calmly, "We just want to help you. You haven't been acting like yourself lately."

Mammon blinked. "I haven't..?"

Satan’s calm demeanor vanished in an instant. " _NO!_ "

Oh no. Mammon had slipped up. The others were worried about him?! Lucifer would be so mad! He made a mental note that he would have to try harder to hide his feelings.

He cleared his throat and straightened up. "Sorry. I dunno what's been goin' on with me lately. I'll prob'ly be back to normal in a few days."

Satan hurled himself forward and Mammon braced himself for the attack, only to be met with his little brother's arms around him tightly. What kind of attack was this? It didn't seem to be doing anything at all. 

Then he noticed the way Satan's breath hitched and the way his body shook. Wait... Was.. was this a... hug? Was his brother _hugging_ him? Mammon hesitantly returned the gesture. Satan held him tighter and buried his face into his brother's shoulder. 

Mammon smiled warmly at this. "Aww," he placed a hand on his little brother's head. "I'll be okay. Really."

Satan didn't respond. He didn't know if he could believe that, no matter how _desperately_ he longed to.

•••••••

While Satan was distracting Mammon with organizing books (which he had purposefully taken off the shelves in order to have something to mask his intentions), Lucifer had stayed up in Mammon's room. Upon seeing what his brothers had to say about the second-born via group chat, Lucifer had reason to be concerned. He had messaged Satan privately afterward and together they constructed a plan to find out more about what was going on with him. Satan was to find out all the information he could while remaining inconspicuous while Lucifer looked for any clues that may lie within Mammon's room.

The first thing he decided to inspect was the drawer Mammon had taken the money out of. Inside he found several other stacks, each labeled with a brother's name. That was… unsettling. He turned around and caught a glimpse of his brother's mirror. It was fairly large, stretching from the floor to several feet up the wall. Under normal circumstances Lucifer probably would have rolled his eyes thinking about all the time Mammon must spend checking himself out in it, but these were _not_ normal circumstances. What Lucifer saw made him feel sick.

The mirror was covered with words written all over it. Not just any words, but words Lucifer recognized saying himself. 

_Stupid_

_Scum_

_Disappointment_

_Worthless_

_Annoying_

Lucifer stepped forward and tried to erase them—not caring in that moment about getting his gloves dirty—only to realize they had been written with permanent ink. His breathing became faster and he was unaware of his demon form starting to show through as he read more. 

_Useless_

_Waste of space_

_Irresponsible_

_Good-for-nothing_

_Idiot_

_Immature_

_Embarrassing_

_Moron_

_Weak_

_Unwanted_

_Failure_

_Disgusting_

_Hopeless_

.

.

.

_Shouldn't have been born_

Lucifer slammed his fists into the mirror as hard as he could, effectively shattering it to pieces. Some of the shards of glass broke off and fell to the floor, scattering all around him. He looked down at his hands. They were shaking. He uncurled them from the tight fists they were in. What was this feeling..? Anger? No. That's not what this frustration was. He felt like he had no control. He wanted to protect his brother but felt like he could do nothing. 

Fear. He was afraid.

With heightened senses due to the adrenaline, something off to the side caught his attention. There was something haphazardly sticking out from underneath the couch.

Lucifer didn't dare take his eyes off it as he approached. Slowly, he crouched down and reached out toward it. His fingers brushed against the object before he closed them around it and pulled it out. He wanted to scream when he saw it.

It was a rope. At the end was a crudely tied noose.

His eyes stung as tears pricked at them. His throat tightened. The rope in his hands became blurred with tears before he let out a strangled sob.

He had no idea! He had no idea his brother had been feeling like this! He wished he could take back everything he had said. It was his fault. Everything had been all his fault. 

After taking a moment to collect himself at least somewhat, Lucifer stood up. He wrapped up and pocketed the rope. No way he was letting Mammon keep it. He turned his attention back to the mess he had made with the mirror. He couldn’t just leave that there, either. Mammon would know that someone had been in his room and would get suspicious, but more importantly he could hurt himself. Lucifer started to pick up the pieces and realized the mirror itself could pose a danger to his brother as well, as the majority of the glass was still attached and could be harmful too. 

He ran a trembling hand through his hair. Lucifer concluded he would just have to remove the mirror from the room completely. He thought of asking one of the others to help, but… no. This was his own fault. It was Lucifer’s sole responsibility to fix this. He couldn’t ask his brothers for help solving a problem he created, and he was fully capable of taking care of it himself. It was better if he was the only one to have to bear the knowledge of Mammon’s pain.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Whoops I know that was Satan twice in a row. I plan to have individual interactions with them all but I think he might be my favorite and this is my first time writing him (and everyone besides Mammon and Lucifer).


	3. Establishing the Plan

Mammon had meticulously planned out every day for the next week. He wanted to dedicate a whole day to each of his brothers. He hadn’t been acting like himself? He could fix that. He was going to give them each the best day of their lives by giving them all exactly what they wanted! He was desperate to not let anyone catch on or ruin his plan though, and he was now especially on edge after finding his mirror and rope missing.

He would start with Beelzebub on Monday. He’d take him out someplace nice to eat, let him order as much of anything he wanted from the menu, and Mammon would cover the cost. He chuckled to himself thinking about how excited Beel would be.

Next he’d go shopping with Asmodeus on Tuesday—he had wanted to go the other day, hadn’t he? Surely he’d say yes, especially once Mammon tells him that he’ll pay for it all himself. Yeah. That’d make Asmo happy.

Wednesday would be spent playing video games with Leviathan. That seemed to be the one thing Mammon did that always made the third brother happy. They’ll play anything he wants and Mammon won’t utter a single complaint. 

Belphegor was hard to understand. Mammon spent so much time trying to think of what he could do for him until he remembered how his younger brother always seemed eager to join them all for movie nights, even if he always ended up asleep halfway through. Maybe that was precisely why he liked them so much. It was the perfect environment for him to fall asleep comfortably.

Satan was the number-one suspect for having caught on to Mammon’s intentions, so he’d have to be extra careful around him. He thought about taking him to a bookstore but felt that might be too obvious. Lucky for him, he just discovered that cat cafés are a thing. His brother _loved_ cats! It was perfect.

Lucifer was the second suspect, but Mammon didn’t want to think about that as a possibility simply because the thought terrified him. Not because he was worried Lucifer would do something to him, but because of what it would do to _Lucifer_ if he knew… Seeing his older brother hurt was far worse than him being angry. 

Mammon thought long and hard about what he could do for his older brother but was never satisfied with anything he came up with. More than anything he just wanted to avoid him completely, but he knew he probably should give him a proper farewell too. His anxiety about it was eating away at him, so he couldn’t bear to give it any more thought at the moment. He had until the end of the week to come up with something anyway. Sunday would be when his plan came to an end. Everything would be perfectly wrapped up by then and he could finally accomplish something worthwhile for once in his life. 

Mammon let out a deep sigh. He was tired. Emotionally. Mentally. _Physically._ He had been working a lot more lately. Enough to pay back all his debts and beyond that. He wanted to prove that he could do something right for once. This was his last chance, and he was going to make it count.

••••••

Lucifer not sleeping was nothing new; Him being so disorganized and paranoid _was,_ however.

He had received a message from Satan shortly after he left Mammon’s room yesterday:

_**[Satan: Were you able to find anything?]** _

Lucifer had hesitated before responding with: 

_**[Lucifer: No. Unfortunately I was not.]** _

There was no need to involve his brothers in his mistakes—especially one this bad. He could fix this himself. He _had_ to. Otherwise what kind of older brother would he be?

Even though he knew he had to do something, he was _terrified._ He was scared to say anything to Mammon. Every time he tried to confront him, his brother would look at him so _fearfully._ It hurt Lucifer to see him like this. He wanted to be respected and treated with authority, but his little brother being worried for his own safety around him? He never wished it would come to that. 

So he started to avoid Mammon altogether. It wasn’t that he didn’t care. In fact you could say he cared _too much._ He didn’t want to say the wrong thing. He didn’t even know how to bring it up. Mammon would surely try to change the subject anyway. He had to plan this out carefully. He could not afford to fail his family again.

Lucifer was suddenly aware that he was outside, walking around aimlessly. When did he get out here? How? He sighed. He’d been a mess the last couple of days. His thoughts were all scattered and he’d been forgetting things. He decided to go see Diavolo since he was already out. The demon prince was the only person Lucifer entrusted with his troubles, though even he too could be hard for Lucifer to open up to at times. Still, he had never once betrayed Lucifer’s trust and was always willing to listen. 

He briskly made his way to the palace, though his pace was slowed due to his utter exhaustion. He was greeted by Barbatos at the door and quickly ushered in as the state Lucifer was in was noted. Diavolo appeared from around the corner a second later. His welcoming smile turned to shock and concern in an instant and he rushed to his friend’s side.

“Lucifer! What happened?! You don’t look so good…”

Lucifer closed his weary eyes. Where to even start? He let out a strained sigh.

“It…” he paused, swallowing the pain of defeat, “It’s Mammon…”

Diavolo placed a hand on Lucifer’s back and gently led him to another room. 

“Come sit down and we’ll talk.” His tone was serious, yet still soft and caring. 

What would Lucifer do without him?

•••••••

Satan sighed. His foot tapped mechanically on the floor. He crossed his arms, growing impatient.

“Has anyone seen Lucifer?”

“He’s been in his room all day.” Leviathan spoke quietly, not wanting to feed Satan’s visibly rising temper.

The fourth brother growled.

“I-I’ll try calling him,” Asmodeus blurted out before Satan could erupt into a rage.

Satan was about to protest—he had been trying to contact Lucifer this whole time to no avail—but Asmodeus has already called him. A separate phone began ringing a second later. Leviathan recognized the ringtone to be the unused track in the cursed TSL vinyl Lucifer borrowed once. That was Lucifer’s DDD, but where was he?

Belphegor ducked down behind the couch. When he stood up he was holding the ringing device. He pressed the red button to decline the call from Asmodeus.

“Huh? Why is Lucifer’s DDD here?” Leviathan questioned. “He never lets it out of his sight…”

Satan wondered the same thing for a moment before shaking his head.

“That’s not important right now. I called you all here to discuss a very urgent matter. It looks like we’ll just have to fill Lucifer in later.” He sighed. His four present brothers looked at him with intent curiosity.

“As you are all aware, Mammon hasn’t been acting like himself. I’m… worried.. about him. I haven’t been able to identify what exactly is troubling him but, from what I have gathered, he seems to be suffering from some form of depression.”

Belphegor was about to offer a snarky comment on the matter, but Beelzebub recognized that expression of his and with only a glance, managed to convince his twin that now was not the time. Belphegor huffed and leaned back against the couch without a word.

Satan continued, “I want all of you to keep watch for any changes or unusual behaviors you notice with him. Keep me up to date on what you find.”

The brothers all nodded in agreement. Then, one by one, they each received a message from Mammon, inviting them to spend a different day of the week with him. They all felt the same sense of unease. Something about Mammon being so sincerely generous without expecting to be praised just felt so _wrong_. The five of them agreed to go along with Mammon’s plans, if only to develop a better understanding of the situation and how to help. This was their chance to show how much they really love and care for their afflicted brother.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I’m sorry this chapter took so long to come out. I decided to revise the plot from this point forward, so I had to rewrite this chapter multiple times. My depression has come at me with full force for the last couple months so my productivity has plummeted. This chapter has been sitting here almost finished for a whole month now and I’ve finally had the motivation to finish it so I hope it’s not too much of a mess.
> 
> Anyway stay safe, my homies. I love you!


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I— wow. I cannot believe the amount of support this is getting. I never would have imagined anything like this. I want to thank all of you for reading, everyone who has left kudos or comments, and everyone who gave words of encouragement on the last chapter. I’d like to respond to them all but there are so many and I don’t want to sound repetitive or insincere, but I promise I read and appreciate every single one of them. 
> 
> It’s really thanks to ALL of you that I’ve kept going—in more ways than just writing. I really don’t know where I’d be without you all. Thank you so much. Thank you for reading and thank you for being patient. I love you all.

After Beelzebub decided on where he wanted to eat out, Mammon had protested. 

_“Don’t ya wanna go someplace fancier? I’m payin’, after all. Ya don’t gotta worry about the cost.”_

Beelzebub had politely declined. He sensed Mammon had some kind of hidden intention with this setup. He didn’t know what it was, but he had a feeling it wasn’t good. He was determined to disprove anything Mammon may be trying to prove by not taking advantage of his unexpected generosity. He had simply chosen Hell’s Kitchen. It’s not like the food wasn’t good quality, it’s just that the prices were reasonable and it wasn’t too far from the House of Lamentation.

Mammon continued to insist he pick somewhere more extravagant but Beelzebub stood his ground. Eventually the older of the two gave in and they made their way to their destination.

Beelzebub didn’t miss the look that flashed in his brother’s eyes as he ordered food he knew Mammon liked. He looked hungry—no. He looked _starving._ He swiftly caught himself however, and the look was gone as quickly as it had appeared. 

Mammon didn’t order anything. Just as Beelzebub anticipated. They waited for the food to come in silence. The sixth-born paid close attention to his older brother’s every move. Mammon tapped his fingers on the edge of the table nervously. His gaze wandered everywhere but in Beelzebub’s general direction. He was silent. Mammon was never silent. Beelzebub kept waiting for his brother to start talking or rambling about something—anything—but he never did. The sixth born longed to say something to break the tension, but what could he say? The two of them hardly ever talked or spent time together one-on-one. Both of them had forgotten how to communicate with one another. 

The more he thought about it, he began to realize it was usually Mammon who tried to spark a conversation between them. It never ended up being much of a _conversation_ , really. More of an awkward exchange of a few vague questions about the younger one’s daily life and a couple nonchalant responses. Wow. They were really terrible at this. Wait, no. _Beelzebub_ was really terrible at this. He sighed. At least Mammon was trying. He was looking out for him. It wasn’t fair that he took on the responsibility to care for them all when they never returned the gesture. Beelzebub decided to change that.

“So.”

Mammon’s head whipped up. 

“How… how are.. things.. with you.”

Mammon blinked. “What?”

“How are you?”

“..... _Me_?”

Beel nodded. Who else would he be talking to?

“Uhh.. I’m.. I’m doin’ aright. You?”

“Are you sure?”

Mammon squirmed. “Y-Yeah.. Why wouldn’t I be?”

“You don’t seem like you’re alright.”

“I-I am! I mean, well, uh.. I just—“ Mammon stopped and shrunk down on himself. “Sorry.”

“Why are you apologizing?”

Just as Mammon opened his mouth to defend himself, the waiters arrived to serve the copious dishes Beelzebub ordered. Once everything was laid out, he thanked the servers and turned his attention back to his brother. He pushed a few plates over to Mammon, who gave him a bewildered look.

“You’re giving some to _me_? But.. this is for _you_!”

“You wanted some, right?”

“U-uhh...”

Beelzebub hid his shaking hands under the table. Whenever he didn’t eat for long periods of time, his body reacted this way. He gets shaky and dizzy, and if he didn’t eat something quickly he’d eventually black out. During those blackouts he’d often do things he ended up regretting. He could feel himself getting close and urgently pressed on. If he was feeling like this, he couldn’t even _imagine_ how Mammon must be fairing.

“You need to eat.”

“I’m fi—“

“No you’re not. It’s not healthy to skip meals all the time, and you’re so thin. Your body won’t have the strength you need if you don’t eat.”

Mammon pondered his words for a moment before shaking his head and replying.

“I can’t. This food is for you.”

“Not all of it. Why do you think I ordered your favorites?”

Mammon has no response to that. 

“Please, Mammon.”

After another long pause, Mammon relented. He didn’t say anything, just picked up his fork and began to eat. Slowly, Mammon became much more relaxed. Beelzebub smiled gently, watching the life return to his brother as he gradually ate more and more. The two of them are their food contentedly. Not much was said, but they enjoyed each other’s company nonetheless.

•••••••

Asmodeus nervously paced around his room, biting at his thumbnail. This was his chance to show his brother how much he loves him. It had to be _perfect_. He didn’t want to see Mammon like this anymore. It was disturbing. Mammon has never been this quiet and well-behaved.

The fifth born gasped at the knock on his door. He quickly straightened himself out and put on a smile before swinging it open to greet his brother. 

“Hi~! Are you ready to go?”

Mammon replied with an uncharacteristically quiet “yep,” and a fake smile. Asmodeus found himself frowning at that, but caught himself before it could be noticed. He cheerily linked his arm around Mammon’s and led the way downstairs. 

He tried not to let the fact that his brother’s arm _definitely_ felt thinner than usual damper the bounce in his step. He tried not to be reminded of those dark memories from after the fall. The times where Asmodeus felt so hideous, so cold and alone. When he would do _literally anything_ he could to get the confidence he had as an angel back. 

Those crippling memories that had been buried deeply underneath centuries of moving on were beginning to resurface, but he could not let himself be weighed down by that now. He needed to focus on Mammon, and Mammon definitely didn’t need to see him cry over something that should be left in the past.

Asmodeus forced all of that out of his mind by chatting about various topics on the way to the mall. He wanted to take Mammon to all his personal favorite shops. They started off the shopping trip with an expensive clothing store. Asmo went around looking at different items and articles of clothing, holding them out at arm’s length to get a better look. Once he had gathered a solid outfit, he shoved the clothes into Mammon’s arms and ushered him inside the changing room. 

“Go try these on for me!”

“Wha—Why me?”

“I just want to see what they’d look like on someone else, now go!”

“Okay, okay!” 

Mammon disappeared into the stall. Asmodeus sat in one of the armchairs right outside to wait. 

The fifth born passed the time by scrolling through Devilgram. Just as he was about to ask what was taking so long, Mammon emerged looking unsure of himself. Asmodeus didn’t realize he had been staring until he was shaken from his trance by a nervous cough from his brother. The fifth born hopped to his feet immediately.

“Mammon, you look so good! So? How is it? Do you like it? Does it fit okay?”

“Uh.. yeah. It’s nice. Not sure it’s really your kind a’ thing, though.” 

“Oh, don’t you worry about that. It’s not for me.”

The two of them made their way to the checkout. Mammon wordlessly reached for his wallet but Asmodeus stopped him and paid for it himself. He barely concealed his laughter at seeing the look on Mammon’s face.

Asmo paid close attention after that to all the items that caught Mammon’s eye in the windows they passed. The fifth born would drag him inside and buy it for him. Once Mammon realized what he was doing he started to protest, but Asmodeus wasn’t having any of it. He was going to spend the day spoiling his brother and nothing could stop him.

“But… this isn’t what I wanted! I was gonna buy _you_ all the stuff ya wanted, not the other way around!”

“I know,” Asmodeus smiled, “I’m feeling generous today, is all. Plus, after you turned me down the first time I went and bought everything I wanted myself anyway.” He shot Mammon a teasing look.

Mammon was about to apologize, but Asmo was _not_ about to let that happen, so he cut him off before he could speak.

“Besides, you’re like the only one of our brothers who really _gets_ fashion. If I had brought any of the others instead they’d be complaining and asking too many questions. Solomon’s usually okay to go shopping with, but he doesn’t really understand it either, you know?”

Asmodeus was aware that he was rambling now, but he noticed the soft smile Mammon had as he listened, so he continued talking about anything that came to mind as they went about the rest of their outing.

•••••••

Leviathan scrambled to the door as soon as he heard the knock. With an excited grin, he opened it so fast that it made his brother on the other side jump back in surprise.

“...Y-you’re not gonna do your password thing?”

“Oh!” He had completely forgotten in his haste. “Uh, no. Not today. Just come in.” He grabbed his brother by the arm and pulled him into his room toward the games he had laid out for him to choose from. 

“I put the ones I thought you’d like the most here, but we can play something different if you want, too!”

“Ah.. it’s okay. You pick somethin’.”

Levi cocked his head. “You’re sure? Didn’t you have something in mind when you asked?”

Mammon was silent for a moment.

“Well.. I just wanted to spend some time with you doing whatever ya wanted. I just figured you’d probly wanna play video games or somethin’. I wasn’t plannin’ on anything in particular.”

“Hmm. Okay. How about this one, then? You love this one, right?”

Mammon’s lips twitched. His eyes skirted across the floor, never lingering in one place. “I-I mean. Sure. W-We can play that one, if that’s what ya want.”

“Alright, let’s do it!” 

Leviathan inserted the game into the console and started it up. Mammon hesitantly sat down further away than necessary.

“What are you doing? You’re not going to be able to see the screen from there.”

Mammon swallowed nervously and inched closer. Levi handed him a controller and only then did he notice Mammon shaking when he reached out to take it.

“Wait, are you okay?”

Mammon kept his gaze fixed intensely at the floor as he answered. “Y-yeah. I’m.. I’m fine.” His voice was strained and tense.

Leviathan blinked at him. Mammon was definitely lying. But why? The third born glanced between the game and his brother. After a moment, he turned it off and turned his attention to Mammon. Levi could hear him struggling to control his breathing. He didn’t know what to do. Whenever Leviathan got like that he just wanted to be left alone, but he wanted to help his brother somehow. Should he say something? Should he ask someone for help? 

As he racked his brain for a solution, he noticed a droplet fall and soak into Mammon’s sweatpants and his thoughts stopped in their tracks. 

“M-Mammon..? Why are you crying?”

Then, all at once, Mammon lost all composure and broke down. 

“I’m sorry!” He sputtered out between sobs. “Thi-is was supposed to be yo-your day. I just.. w-wanna make you happy, but… I dunno if I can do that now…” 

This was way more than Levi knew how to handle. He was never any good at cheering people up. 

Mammon continued, his voice cracking with emotion, “Usually I-I can make it ‘till the end of the day bef-fore I lose it like this.”

_‘Usually’? Does he get like this often?_

“I’m sorry, I’m sorry!”

“H-hey… It-it’s okay…” Leviathan began to panic. What was he supposed to do? How could someone like _him_ possibly help? He debated reaching out and putting his hand on Mammon’s shoulder or something, but decided against it. Levi personally didn’t exactly like physical contact and didn’t want to make Mammon uncomfortable in case he was the same way.

“Um, we can do something else if you want… W-we could watch some anime, o-or…” Levi looked around the room. What could make Mammon feel better? When Leviathan felt like crying, he always talked to Henry or—

“Oh! I know! Here.” He removed his headphones from around his neck and offered them to Mammon, who just stared at them in teary-eyed confusion.

“W-whenever I’m feeling bad, I like to listen to music. Either something calming or with lyrics that describe how I feel. D-do you want to try?”

Mammon hesitated for a long time before giving in and whispering, “Sure…”

Leviathan smiled as his brother put the headphones on and he set about looking for some nice calming music. He settled on the soundtrack for one of his favorite movies.

“They did an amazing job at using the music to convey the atmosphere of the film! They used string instruments to simulate the gentle breeze and piano for rain, it’s just so calming! I always listen to this when I need to slow down and just breathe—ah! Sorry, I didn’t mean to start rambling. Here you go.”

But Mammon just smiled—a genuine smile. “It’s aright. Thank you.” He put the headphones on and Leviathan pressed play. 

Mammon seemed to relax soon after. He closed his eyes and his breathing returned to normal. Leviathan decided he should do something quiet while Mammon was listening to the soundtrack. He pulled out his sketchbook and started to draw some of his favorite characters. He didn’t like drawing with others around, but he felt safe with Mammon in this moment. 

They spent the next while together like this. Mammon eventually fell asleep against Levi’s shoulder. The younger brother felt a bit uncomfortable from it at first, but he realized Mammon must be exhausted so he let him be. Eventually that discomfort melted away completely, and Leviathan was able to just enjoy the presence of his brother.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oof I can’t believe this chapter is actually finally done haha. I’m too worn out to grammar check this one. Maybe I will in the future, but for now I’m just gonna leave it as is.
> 
> I feel like it’s important for me to say that I did not plan on living past October, but here I am. I’m definitely feeling better, I’m having up and down days, but things are overall looking up now. I’m not exaggerating when I say that all of you have helped me so much. For a while the only thing keeping me going was the fact that you all have been so kind and supportive and I wanted to do what I could to thank you.
> 
> (By the way I wrote that part about the soundtrack with the Over the Garden Wall soundtrack in mind. I love that movie/series (it’s a mini series, about the length of a movie) so much, it’s one of my favorites of all time and the mUSIC AAA. I really do listen to the soundtrack whenever I need to just breathe. The whole thing is just super calming to me.)
> 
> Anyway, I love all of you so much. I appreciate every single comment even if I don’t respond. I get so excited whenever I see another comment, kudos, or bookmark. And even if you don’t do any of that, I appreciate everyone who takes the time to read this story, too. :)
> 
> Thank you, I love you, and I hope you’re doing well.


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